You know, I thought we were friends, "Wolf of Wall Street." I was all excited for your release and even did my best to get others pumped for you as well. I watched your Kanye West-fueled teaser trailer a tragically obsessive number of times and with pleasure. After all, how many places can you see lobster tossing, midget hurling, Matthew McConaughey rhythmically chest pounding and Leo DiCaprio pop-and-locking? Very few.

But then, Paramount, you decided that Martin Scorsese’s original three-hour cut, eh, needed some trimming (because what does Scorsese know). And now its release is scheduled for Christmas instead of its original date of, oh that’s right, today, leaving us with only one major new film this weekend: "The Best Man Holiday," a sequel to 1999’s moderately successful sleeper "The Best Man." Truly, it must be the most wonderful time of the year.

Okay, I’m not being fair. "The Best Man Holiday" doesn’t deserve my scorn, but it didn’t exactly win my heart over either. Those looking forward to reconnecting with their on-screen friends from nearly 15 years ago might find a decent amount to enjoy. Anyone else without much built-in attachment to this cozy band of habitual liars and secret keepers, however, are in for a long two hours of forced comedic hijinks and a thick dose of sentimental sappy pap normally reserved for a Hallmark holiday original.

An opening montage compiled of footage from the original film and some Photoshopped magazine covers gets viewers back up to speed on what they’ve missed since the days of Y2K. Times are tough now for Harper (Taye Diggs), who’s far away from the success of his tumultuous debut novel. He’s desperate for a solid follow-up; the bills are starting to pile up, and his wife Robyn (Sanaa Lathan) is pregnant with their first child.

The best idea available is to write the exclusive biography of his estranged best friend Lance (Morris Chestnut), who also happens to be a record-setting star NFL running back for the New York Giants (or a team vaguely resembling the New York Giants). Things are still testy between the two, but a long holiday weekend at Lance’s mansion would seem to provide the perfect opportunity for Harper to take some covert notes, build some bridges and work up the courage to eventually ask for the story rights.

Along for the weekend is the rest of the ’99 wedding party, each with their own little dramas to settle. Harper’s close friend and old flame Jordan (Nia Long), now an award-winning exec at MSNBC, is coping with balancing her independence with her new relationship with a handsome colleague (Eddie Cibrian).

Meanwhile, Julian (Harold Perrineau) is suddenly struggling with his ex-stripper wife Candy (Regina Hall), especially after a raunchy Internet video of her in action – and possibly doing things beyond the job description – surfaces and puts a substantial donation to his school at risk. Having his catty ex Shelby (Melissa De Sousa), now a reality star, hanging around for the holidays doesn’t help matters.

And then there’s Quentin (Terrence Howard), the group’s gleefully untamed agent of chaos and friendly instigator. He’s too high and too unbothered to have any drama of his own.

The first half of "The Best Man Holiday" is mostly farce, slapping these good natured but testy friendships into one house and letting the shenanigans ensue. The cast doesn’t seem to have missed a step over the past 14 years. They all share a warm, comfortable chemistry with one another that’s easy to watch.

If only everything else had aged as well. The humor and plotting from returning writer-director Malcolm D. Lee (his second film this year after the best-left-forgotten "Scary Movie 5") relies a lot on tired scenarios, cliché misunderstandings and tedious secret hiding. It’s the kind of film where almost every problem could be solved by an honest conversation. But no. People walk in on others and discover self-destructively kept secrets always at just the wrong time.

The only sign of something new injected into these archaic jokes and storylines is that now smartphones and iPads are now the screenwriter’s preferred plot devices for delivering untimely reveals and secrets.

If having all these humorously quarrelling personalities stuck together for the holidays feels a bit like the product of contrivance, that’s because it is. Midway through "The Best Man Holiday," the script takes a hard turn and reveals why we’re all here: One of the cast members is dying of cancer.

It’s a heavy turn that gives the film ample opportunity to pile on the sentiment and tear tugging. All the weepy tricks are pulled out. There’s the big dramatic game, the big dramatic confrontations, the big dramatic speeches and the big dramatic pregnant race to the hospital. There's even a children’s chorus of "O Holy Night" that pulls so hard on the heart, it's almost doing an impression of the Kali Ma scene from "Temple of Doom."

All the while, cast spark plug Howard tries to keep things light wearing a Santa suit and being his usual profane self. I certainly prefer Lee's combination of ribald banter and faith-based sentimentality over Tyler Perry's sloppy slurry of insultingly broad comedy and preaching, but it's still an unstable mix.

An overload of labored comedy shtick soon barrels into an overload of trite sap. It's too bad because the cast of "The Best Man Holiday" is relaxed, easy company. They're good enough together that they manage to pull a few solid laughs and even some genuine emotional moments from the overlong wringer of a story. You almost wish for a "Before Midnight"-like film where the wheezing plot mechanics get tossed to the wind, and we just get to hang with the crew and casually talk about life. That'd be a real Christmas miracle.