Football season is rapidly approaching and the talking heads are in full breath. Playoff predictions, fantasy predictions, Michael Vick’s drinking preference and the Plaxico’s elastic waistband -- no stone has been unturned and there is still more than two weeks to kickoff.
Looking to fill a nightly void that the Brewers collapse has created, I have gone in search of new entertainment. The third season of "Mad Men" has been clutch. "Entourage" is always there for you. "The Premier League" has begun with a few upsets and, last but not least, the jewel of the past five training camps: Hard Knocks.
"Hard Knocks" is an in-depth look into an NFL training camp. The past few years has shown us Brian Billick’s smugness, Dave Campo’s incompetence and Herm Edwards playing the role of Herm Edwards.
This year the Cincinnati Bengals are the featured franchise and there couldn’t be a better choice (maybe the Raiders, but I digress). Three years ago the Bengals were one of the best teams in the NFL, largely on the back of their explosive offense. Things all changed when Kimo von Oelhoffen dove into Carson Palmer’s legs, blowing out his knee and turning the Bengals back into the pumpkin they normally are.
Now Palmer is trying to make his comeback, not only from knee surgery but also elbow surgery that occurred last year. In doing so he is trying to save Marvin Lewis’ job, who has been seemingly on the hot seat for years.
Besides Lewis and Palmer, the Bengals have a cast of merry men to keep the laugh meter raging. Front and center is Chad Ochocinco (Johnson). Ocho rubs most people the wrong way, but his brashness and honesty is riveting -- not to mention single-handedly proving to the world that McDonald’s is good for you.
Also demonstrating his master linguist ability he has given all new meaning to the phrase "child please." A clip that is a must see.
This week’s episode will be legendary for Ocho, since he shows off his footy prowess by kicking the game winning extra point. If you haven’t seen the clip, he just doesn’t chip in through; he bangs it home like a viable kicker. He then proceeds to kickoff to the five yard line and with a touch of height. I guarantee no shortage of Ocho this week making his claim that soccer is in fact his best sport.
Other than his kicking, Ocho looks like he may have regained his old form.
There are also some local ties. One of the featured position battles involves former Badger fullback Chris Pressley. He is battling with the incumbent Jeremi Johnson who is that guy at camp – the guy who comes in so over weight he spends the entire camp trying to get into shape instead of getting ready for the season. I am not exaggerating here, this guy looks like a guard that can’t run a lap.
There is also the battle at the tight end position where the Bengals’ top two tight ends got hurt, leaving rookie Chase Coffman to take up the reigns. Chase is the son of former Packers tight end Paul Coffman. Chase is the classic case of a rookie that will be forced to play but isn’t near ready to produce.
Lastly, it always enjoyable to watch a poorly run franchise operate on a daily basis. The Bengals don’t have a GM; instead they are run by owner Mike Brown. Andre Smith, the Bengals first round draft pick, is still unsigned because the Bengals will not pay over slot -- or even negotiate. To add insult to absence they also gave away his assigned bed.
Fullback J.D. Runnels was awaken at 5:30 a.m., given a bus ticket and told he was cut. Not a meeting, not a ticket in your locker, it was a grim reaper wake-up call. When asked why, director of football operations Jim Lippincott simply states we make decision based purely on ability. I guess he didn’t sugar coat it.
This is all the tip of the iceberg. You still have Chris Henry’s 15th chance, Roy Williams bailing out of a tackling drill and Palmer’s affinity for the proper Gatorade mix. All in all it is must see television. A perfect mix of football and comedy, maybe a little heavy on the comedy.
I am not the only one who is hooked -- HBO’s ratings are way up compared to last year. I am surprise that Ocho hasn’t asked for a raise.
It has secured a place for me on Wednesday nights on HBO. Now I only have a few other days of the week to fill.
