When my friends and I got our temporary learner’s permits eight years ago, the cards we got from the DMV were all arranged vertically. It was a newfangled design at the time, or at least it seemed that way from the reaction of older relatives – many of whom didn’t even believe it was real.
I got the same layout when I passed my driver’s test, and once again when I renewed my license five years ago – complete with a great, big "UNDER 21 UNTIL 10/05/10" sticker under my very unflattering photograph.
I tried to buy a beer at Six Flags in Gurnee the other day, and the young woman manning the bar asked for my ID. Nothing new. I handed it to her.
"We don’t accept these," she said.
I didn’t know what she meant – did she think it was a credit card? It’s a government-issued form of identification. How do you not accept it?
She had an accent, so I thought that maybe she wasn’t from the United States and didn’t understand what it was. "That’s my driver’s license. That’s what you asked for," I said.
"We don’t accept this kind," she said.
"What other kind is there?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes. "Let me get my manager."
The manager came over and explained to me that my driver’s license was vertical, and they did not give accept vertical driver’s licenses. "Corporate policy," she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.
Like hell I was leaving there without a what I ordered, so luckily my mom had a horizontal driver’s license and they gave her a beer (although I ordered it, paid for it and drank it in front of them).
Another patron at the bar explained to me that Illinois temporary learner’s permits are vertical, the same as in Wisconsin. But my date of birth was printed very clearly on the card. A few friends on Facebook reported similar incidents happening to them, mostly at amusement parks (Disney, apparently, is one of the few that is not so discerning. You go, Mickey).
And can I just say, the beer was $11? Eleven dollars I was more than willing to spend. Legally. And look, I can prove it – I have a DMV issued card that has my birthday. Right. There. Are you in a position to turn out people who are willing to pay $11 for a beverage, Six Flags? After I spent $65 to get in?
I'm getting a new driver's license soon, since I've legally changed my name, but otherwise I wouldn't have thought to get a new one until my current one expires in six years. Six long years spent sober at amusement parks. Unless I shell out for a new one just so I can get my drink on the two times a year I find myself avoiding rides at Six Flags.
I’m more than willing to see the logic in this rule of theirs, but I’m having a little trouble. But don't say I didn't warn you to bring a flask the next time you go.
Colleen Jurkiewicz is a Milwaukee native with a degree in English from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and she loves having a job where she learns something new about the Cream City every day. Her previous incarnations have included stints as a waitress, a barista, a writing tutor, a medical transcriptionist, a freelance journalist, and now this lovely gig at the best online magazine in Milwaukee.
