The Dream Candle

Tuesday May 8th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

Monday Mania isn’t slowing down. Tuesday used to be my day to just unplug from the world’s power grid and disappear for a while to relax and get ready to tee it up for a new week. I’d do my laundry, go get my mail, answer emails and phone messages, whatever. It was a free day to relax.

Now I’ve got a commitment to record three episodes of ‘The Unshow!’ podcast at 8am. I don’t mind, and in fact I like doing it, but it’s another thing I have to keep track of and pushes back my schedule even farther. People call me every day and ask for a slice of my time for one activity or favor or another, and I’m to the point I’m finding it all overwhelming. I can’t keep track of it all.

I really do think I need to hire some kind of a secretary to help me keep everything straight. It’s too daunting a task for a one man band to take care of everything, and that’s just a fact. I’m using up a lot of creative time doing minutia I’m not even interested in, but it has to get taken care of.

Meanwhile, a lot of important things I should be spending time on get neglected. Pretty soon, it feels like I’m in the corporate rat race all by myself without the benefit of the steady paycheck to counterbalance the frustration of having to deal with the grind. I think I have outsmarted myself.

I chose to get into comedy to fulfill my creative urges. I’ve been able to make a living doing it for going on three decades, and that’s no small accomplishment. I challenge anyone to start from scratch with no map and make that happen. It’s a borderline miracle I have been able to survive.

But survival isn’t enough. Nobody sets out in the entertainment business to just barely squeak by for twenty years. I’m sure nobody in the corporate world sets out to do that either, but it’s not as much of a disappointment when it eventually happens. It’s expected, but has other features to make up for it like a steady paycheck and health insurance. Sometimes, reality drowns dreams.

I always chose to keep my little dream candle burning, even though life’s torrential downpour tried to drown my dream countless times. Sometimes that candle flickered more than a little, but it hasn’t been extinguished yet. I may be getting a little low on the wick, but there’s still a flame.

What do I do with my candle? I could call that the burning question, but that’s a horrible pun to bring into a very serious subject. I’m not joking. I don’t know what to cut out of my life to give a little relief to all this overwhelm I’m feeling. I’ve got all these half baked projects going on right now in various stages of completion, and I haven’t the slightest idea if any of them will succeed.

I still think my favorite of all is The King of Uranus. That’s just such a goofy idea that it makes my creative muscles twitch with anticipation of bringing it to life out of total nothing. I relish the challenge, and it really interests me. But so do the other ideas. They’re like kids, I love them all.

I do want to do the ‘Schlitz Happened!’ one man show about Milwaukee at some point. I want to keep teaching comedy classes too. Then there’s The Mothership Connection radio show every Sunday. That’s fun too. And what about my act? I’ve got so many ideas of new material I’d like to work in but haven’t had the chance. This is all fine, but I have to handle my everyday life first.

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