Expensive Bargains

Saturday September 8th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

Normally I don’t like being off on a Saturday, but life has been anything but normal lately. I’ve been working hard at all kinds of behind the scenes stuff, and it actually feels good to take a little break and just relax for a bit. I’ve got everything down but the relaxing part. There’s a lot to do.

It’s way too easy to let offstage things get out of control, and I totally have. I’ve been chasing it onstage and on the air for a lifetime, and everything else got pushed aside. I kept moving all over the country to pursue my dream, and I ignored everything else. Now I’m up to my ass in clutter.

I’ve been whittling down all the boxes I’ve accumulated in all my moves, and actually having a lot of success in paring it all down. I’m a lot lighter than I was a year or even six months ago, but I still wouldn’t mind unloading about 95% or more of everything I’ve got. It’s time for cleansing.

Today I spent a couple of hours sorting through the last few boxes of sports cards I have. Those things seem to multiply on their own, and I wish I could just get rid of every last one of them and be done with it. I don’t want to just give them away though, because there’s still some value left.

The problem – like much of the rest of my life – is that it’s very scattered. I’ll probably have to end up selling it all at a loss just to move it and hopefully finally learn my lesson. There isn’t any quick fix to anything in life, and all the effort I wasted on sports cards all these years should and could have been invested in far more productive pursuits. I blew it, and here I sit disappointed.

I can’t and won’t let it get me down though. I had a lot of fun wheeling and dealing cards, even if the price I paid for it was extremely high. I realize now just how valuable time is, and it should be used as prudently as possible. I thought I was making a quick buck, when in fact I was pissing away my chance at the really big money. What if I had spent that time writing books or scripts?

Well, I didn’t. I was too busy farting around with too many things because I liked them all. My cousin Jef Parker used to own several comic book stores in the Milwaukee area before his tragic passing from cancer at age 44 in 2001. He had been telling me for years to stop wasting even one more minute on cards because I wasn’t going ever be anything but a middle of the roader with it.

He told me I had real potential as a comedian, and that was a special talent few ever get in their repertoire. Any monkey could trade cards or comic books or coins or whatever the collectible of the week might be. He was totally correct in retrospect, and I wish I would have listened to him.

Another mistake I made was buying books and self help programs in my travels. They’re great I suppose…IF one takes the time to listen. I’ve listened to some, but I’ve got ten times more I’ve moved all over the country and never heard or read even once. I’ll never get to half of them now.

Again, I don’t want to just give all of it away because I can use a few bucks right now and I did spend money to buy this stuff. If I could unload every bit of it today I would, but I doubt I would get even half of what I paid for it all - and I got most of it cheap. Bargains sure can be expensive.

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