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Thursday September 20th, 2012 – Fox Lake, IL

   I have no problems. I piss, I moan, I bellyache. I whine, I bitch, I snivel. None of it means even the slightest hint of anything legitimate, and I need to shut my mouth and get with the program in life. There are people who have it WAY worse than I ever will, and they can use a helping hand.

   My cousin Wendy sent me an email that just about ripped my heart out of my chest. Her father and my grandfather were brothers, so I guess that makes us second cousins. I saw her when I was a kid, but then we lost touch for many years. We just reconnected a couple of years ago and she’s a total sweetheart. Like me, she is trying to break the chain of darkness that is our family legacy.

   Her daughter Katie is a Milwaukee police officer, and her partner Joshua Albert was recently a victim of a drunk driver driving up the wrong way on a freeway entrance ramp causing a head on collision. According to Cousin Wendy, Officer Albert’s diaphragm exploded, he broke his pelvis in two places, both hips are broken, an ankle is broken, he shattered a foot and they’re not sure of all the damage to his neck because they can't do a scan right now. And I thought I had problems.

  This is about as horrible as horrible gets, and Cousin Wendy asked if I’d be willing to perform a benefit fundraiser on his behalf. She explained that they live in close proximity to each other and take the same route home. Usually, Officer Albert would follow Katie but on this particular night he was in the lead and happened to take the brunt of the accident. It was just a freak occurrence.

   Unfortunately, Officer Albert will have to suffer consequences for the rest of his life - which he is extremely lucky to still be in possession of. I’m sure he’ll be on the shelf for several months at the very least, and his physical therapy is going to be absolute hell on Earth. What a horrific fate.

   I’ve had my own nightmare with a drunk driver years ago and almost lost my life in a late night car wreck where I flipped a convertible completely upside down. The drunk survived with barely a scratch, and on top of all that he was driving after revocation after multiple previous offenses.

   My sternum was fractured in two places, and I broke my jaw. I had a bruised heart, bruised ribs and had to go to physical therapy to learn to walk again. That was bad enough. I can’t picture the degree of horror of what Officer Albert will have to endure on his long difficult road to recovery.

   I told Cousin Wendy I would do all I can to help, and I will do exactly that. I did contact one of the local comedy clubs, and they promptly rejected the idea. That’s about typical of what I would expect, even though I tried to explain this has nothing to do with me personally. And it doesn’t.

   This is about helping a fellow human being who can really use a hand right now. We all tend to get numbed by all the nasty things we see on the news every day, and I have to admit if I had not gotten the email from Cousin Wendy I might have not even heard about this. It’s hitting someone close to home, and I have to do my part just because it’s the right thing to do. I did manage to get Shank Hall for the date of Wednesday October 17th to do a benefit show. I’ll have more details as they become available, but I am going to do all I can to make this a reality. I have no problems.